haven blog in such a long time.

graduated but jobless. now doing a training course, hopefully i can gain unpaid experience in companies and perform well enough for them to hire me. if not is back to S'pore.

but i feel super guilty if i can't get a job here. i have wasted my dad's money again and again...
so depressed that i can't get any job or even get PR here.

on 18th april, i retaking the IELTS again. I really wish i can get all 7 this time round or else i really don't know what to do anymore.

i think i will be missing her wedding. so sad as i want to go. sigh

as nigel, no news from him for a week. last we chat was 18th of march. I hope is he being a jerk and not replying me rather than something really bad happen.

i keep thinking is something bad happen. i have this feeling is because in the past he gets injured at work. went in hospital a few times.

i should not be having this such strong feelings or even wonder what happen to a person i hardly know. am i over reacting? truly hope is he just being a jerk. at least he still living in the world

i dun know... i keep sms him but he hasn't reply any. i dun know.. sigh...

but i more stress with my life now.. jobless. sigh... tired now.. blog soon

crappy past 2 weeks

These past 2 weeks was a crappy week!!!

Was busy with work, tired.. and it was my visa delay issue.. then to top it off, emma took the washing machine and her mum now say the place is unfurnished. The rest will remain until further notice.

Crap! now have to find house. Anyway i intend to find a place near city anyway.. so i did. looked at 5 places so far and found one decent, reasonable one to stay. Rent slightly more ex but near city is bound to be ex.

haven confirm yet as i just saw it ytd. My parents ok with it so i sms the person this morning and will call in the afternoon to confirm.

and hopefully can move in ASAP. went to do my laundry at laundry mat... tiring and costly.

so now i'm packing up my stuffs. its just been such a crappy week.

Now so many need to change once i move. like need change all my address... haiz.. argh!!!...

dealing with it.

I PASSED!!!!

I'm finally graduating!!!!

I'm offically a degree holder...

My dad so proud till he cry...
makes me want to cry too!!!

Waiting for results... some updates

waiting for my results. Hope i pass all, i want to pass all. I want to grad!!!

17mins to go.....

some updates so far. Confirm doing the training course. have already paid the deposit. Now working and saving as much as i can in hope i can pay off the 3 grand to start the semester or at least part of it.

It starts is Feb 26th, 2 days after my graduation. So, i will be going for my graduation holiday early.

Now looking for a new place near city cos nearer to subiaco where i go for training and near where i currently working as casual. Still looking.

Got my Automatic licence last week. Picture looks funny but have to stick to it if not have to pay to retake. Maybe getting a car of my own next year.
That's what my dad says but we'll see how it goes.

Bought the complete series of Stephenie Meyer's book - Twilight Saga. I hope it is nice to read.

8 more mins.....

6 more mins....

oh.. she told me her wedding on 22th and ask me to be a bridesmaid..
so happy and honoured! But provided i can return back in time and i can manage to take a break from the training program... argh!!!

feels like i already planned the next 6 months ahead. Not use in doing things like this.

about him... he seems truthful, sincere and really nice... That is in our conservations. we haven chat on the phone yet. But i tend to wonder what if our perception of each other is interpreted wrongly by our thinking?

I think he would think the same too. Cos assume he is for real, he too will think am i for real. right?

so i think we will take things slow... when i happen to get back spore and we plan to meet up then see how from there. Nothing might even happen. hmmm... true.. but of cos i do want some chemistry to work or something... Oh man! i'm just being desperate.

1 more min

>1 min....

the time has come...
oh gosh
strike 12 already

let's see if i can get online...
brb to update the results!

Finally... no more exams!!!!

But i'm so sick now... down with a flu and fever.

feel horrible....

I finally say ' i miss you' to Nigel. Oh god... am i moving too fast? He sounds quite serious in what he says... hmm... i dun know.. maybe like this song... its all a joke... faith is playing me. Or maybe i'm desperate to think it is going to work out... i dun know...

getting some rest now... tired

just finish one exam. The only one i was super stressed about. I do hope i pass, my friend think i will pass, but i do not feel the confident on what i wrote. I know some calculation i am wrong... i dun know.

Now my next paper is friday. not so stress.. but want to aim high... striving for it. :) then next tuesday is last one.. then i'm free.....

have an marketing job interview after exam... dun remember even applying for it. Will not stress, cos its not like i'm going to get it. But i need get accounting job if i want get PR. hmm...

My friend suggest i study CPA program to help me find job. My mum ask me to see if do Master better... Master is better to get PR but when you are master ppl in the world request more from you. Now as an undergrad already request you have experience.... so stressful. I know my parents want me get job here as whole world is on recession. So in singapore will be worst.. and pay low. hmmm.... I need find job first.. ppl must hire me.. My god.. not easy find...

i will try here first, if unsucessful then i will return to Singapore. Not getting younger, both CPA and master during is roughly the same but CPA is cheaper in fees as only 6 units. Master is 12 units, 4 each sem... haiz!!!

Can't worry now, have to focus on exam first.

A little update on Nigel, hmm... he send me a mtv video.. its a chinese song, title 'i want to say', then chorus is i want to say i cannot live without you...etc. I try not to interpret too much. I just say nice song.. who is the singer etc... act as blur as possible.

he still constant say he miss me and send the monkey kiss icon.. i just response like, how sweet or just a smile icon. I scared to put too much feel to this 'online relationship'. Its just me, i cannot get pass the fact that i haven met him in person and know him as a person, i cannot say things like i miss him now...it just feels not right.

i want say it only when i mean it. i'm not being silly am i? Then today, i heard a song, its actually saying how i feel now towards him. chorus is like i think i'm starting to like you but i just met you, i guess i'm starting to like you but are you for real???.... you listen on my blog if you understand chinese... hehe

hmm.... dreaming to much.. i know.... back to studies now.. will keep you updated...

Finding love at the wrong place?

Meet someone online recently. He is nice. He is 24 in singapore. working as a chef and part-time musician. Sounds very interesting yet intimidating. He is a year younger yet he sounds he has achieved so much in life. and me being a year older is only just finishing a degree.

we chatted for quite some time but for most of the time he is away as he is sick with an eye infection. when we chat, he sometimes will say things i miss you... i didn't reply as i think is still too early to say that to someone who you just met online and haven met. But i do miss him when he never online.

am i being a hypocrite? saying one thing yet feeling another. am i really falling for him?

i hardly doubt it cos i never met him, i hardly know him. i think is mentally i am desperate to find love. then i tend to find it at a wrong place. so see how it goes.. you never know what will happen... hmm.... back to my assignment....