oh my, haven blog for so long! well as usual busy with uni. exams in 2 weeks. Not much time left! Sigh! Having lab test this friday worth 30%, have to pass and pass it well! then have one taxation quiz next week worth 10% then another mini test for finance worth 5%. need that! simply a few % can make a difference between passing and failing. I learnt that the hard way! Don't want to go through that again. I don't want to put my family through that again!

Driving so far... hmm... i don't know. Instructor says i'm good but i don't feel that way! I'm not confident. Tomorrow is my 2nd last lesson and i have to ring for a test appointment after that. Oh shits! Sigh!

Now i'm worried on driving and studies but of cause studies come first. I'm just not confident in 3 units. Hmm... Have to work very hard!

Have been thinking about him lately, wonder he doing in France. I know i cannot let my mind run wild but the brain not listening. LOL! I do miss him though! My mum always talk about him. Sigh! Better drown myself in my books... lock him up somewhere in the mind for the next 3 -4 weeks. LOL... blog again when i can.. tata!

Bought a new pair of boots last week. it was nice, comfy and i found my size plus.. its flat... love flat boots.. love heels but i'm never good in them... hehe... of cos i wish to wear nice boots with heels.. but i'm just not a heels person.. sigh...

anyway.. broke.. till i get a proper job, i will get heels for work..LOL.

week break over so that means exam is coming.. oh no.. jia you jen... have to pass...

driving lessons so far is ok.. but sturbon me.. still tend to drive too slow or too fast, turnings not so good. sobz... sigh... jia you! you can do this.

i still miss him but not that much anymore.. i think is a good thing.. no point lingering my feelings on him cos like i say before and my friends all think so.. nothing will happen... too many things to take into considerations.. so move on jen. maybe the right one is yet to come ... will it come in the next 5 years? before i turn 30? i do hope so.. but the love god might play a joke with me by never matching me with anyone.. LOL could i be lonely for my entire life?

i still remember what angie said to me abt 3-4 yrs ago..." i need to love myself first before someone else can love me" but how do you actually do that? i've been trying my best to love myself as much as i can... try to lose weight..etc... sigh...man, love and life... its just something hard to predict.... oh well..... am 25 now.... old.. like joe say... will i only get my first love at 28 and end happy or in tears? i dun know..

oi! love god, i know i not pretty and slim.. not perfect but not cruel or evil type.. why no one like me leh? sigh! .. back to my studies... sigh.. now must grad first... its the most important thing in life right now. dun wish to disappoint my family again!

my new handphone pouch

thinking of him again

i was trying my best not to think of him by going gym, taking my driving lesson, drown myself in my studies and work. basically doing anything other than thinking of him.

but things just pop in once in a while just like today.. wasn't thinking of him at all.. but so happen this guy who looks like him board the bus. sitting near me.. OMG! how to not to think of him??!!! Dun worry that is not him on the bus.. as i know he is in france now... ai yo! so look alike... my god.. i keep trying my best to look away and not thinking about him.. try to think something else like my poor leg - twisted it ytd. sobz so n gym for this week.

things like this always happen.. i mean abt him.. in uni.. at bus stop waiting for the bus.. my god.. saw a student that looks like him... so many ppl look like him.. am i seeing things??!! my god...

is my inner mind so desperate for a boyfriend that i am starting to imagine things? though at the age 25 still no boyfriend not like most of my friends who have plenty of it.. sometimes i do envy them... hmm.. maybe becos i am fat that's why no bf lah... working very hard to lose weight.. trying my best.. sobz... oh well back to my taxation.. got to finish so i can do audit.. its more scary!

last night... thought of him again.. went face book to search for his name.. and guess what.. i found him.. this time is really him as there was a picture of him posing during CNY in one of the SG shopping center. not sure where could be tampiness but anyway... suprise to find him... the previous one i said i found one.. was a different one... haha.. this prove my friend wrong.. there can be more than one same name same surname in france. france so big.. LOL... kidding!

but found him, i didn't do a thing... just smile at the pic.. silly right... if i add him or poke him.. he will be thinking i actually spend time to search for him in facebook.. LOL... oh well... i believe i will forget him soon with my busy studies... super stress this week! tmr i have my tax quiz.. stress.. better get back to my studies...

but i still happy to see him in facebook

i haven blog for a while... hmm.. where to start...

uni starts.. tax and audit is really tough. they both are important units and everyone ask me y i put them together. i dun know. sobz. now i haven chosen it.. i got to stick to it... can't fail.. nonono....

having a tax online quiz.. haven study yet. oh god... come on jen u can do it. i think on wed or tue i saw a guy that looks like daniel. damn it... make me think of him again.. sigh... anyway... i only can say.. oh well he is like million miles away. no chance lah... hehe... better get back to my books.. i'm 3 weeks behind!!!!! nonono

1/3/08

Today i found out that i didn't manage to score grade 7 for all the 4 sections in my IELTS test so which means i won't be able to apply for PR. My friends over here ask me to retake. I don't know. Don't feel like retake. Not that i don't like perth. I do love it here. Its just my heart is with my sister. I miss her so much... excuse. i think i just miss the life in Singapore. but that doesn't mean i wun miss the life here. I will too. the main thing is i am afraid i might be able to get a job here. You need at least a PR to get a job plus they look at your grades. In SG, they look at your grades too but at least i dun have to worry abt the citizenship. so i think i will return to SG.

But i will still give driving another try. I am still scared. i still have the fear in driving... but i will force myself to overcome it... i hope i do.. but i think i will give myself a limit. if i fail 3 times. i think i will stop. i dun know. see how it goes.

yesterday came home, browse through facebook. i think i found him - daniel. no pic though so not for sure. but his location is in france with a few sinagpore friends. wondering is it him. it has his surname. haha.. oh no! i'm still thinking of him... come on jen.. forget him already.. its never going to happen... snap out of it... grow up... argh!!! okok.. better get back to my tutorials.. so many to read and do... 3rd yr units are really really really tough! all the best to me lah.