sad news

my mum told me last nite my dad is sick. The sickness is smoking related. i'm quite upset. having such a mix feelings rite now. Since young, i know this day will come but part of me hopes it doesn't come at all. But what hurts me more, he still wants to smoke. still wants me and my sis to buy cigettres. I was so upset. He know smoking will do him no good now.. he still wants.. dun he want see me go down the aisle if i ever get to do it?!

It made me think twice. if i ever fail and/or unable to continue studying, i maybe will go back SG to work so he could retire. I care about how ppl look and think of me in the way that i spent so many years in Aus but unable to finish my degree but, i rather come out work and let my dad retire, spend living stress-free.

Now i have a confuse mind, dun know what to do. I really want him to enjoy rest of his life work free but i'm currently unable too. My dad should change his life style now. when i go over, i will make him walk with me on weekends. I love him but hate his sturboness. :(